A+ A A-

Everyone’s a F*****g DJ

by Kensal Scream 
At long last! Another salvo from Kensal Scream with its caustic humour for the masses!


Everyone’s a f*****g DJ – you can’t throw a stone in West London without hitting a DJ! When you meet them down the pub its hi what do you do?  I’m a Property Developer but actually I’m a DJ. Oh me? I’m a Chef but believe it or not, actually I’m a DJ. You’ll never guess to look at me, I’m a Builder but actually if you really want to know I’m a DJ…Arghhhhhh! 
No you’re not a f*****g DJ! You’re just some sad c**t  with a pair of dusty decks that sits under your f*****g bed until a group of poor sods get invited round for a party and you wheel out all the shit vinyl you’ve stacked up for donkey’s years, (tunes that were shit the first time round) and you subject your long suffering guests to an evening of mind numbing bollocks whist waving your arm in the air shouting “Tune!”  
So what to do with this collection of half-wits and their half tonne of f*****g useless, shitty vinyl?  Get them all in a room together with their wheels of steel so they can bore each other to death with “Big shout outs!” to imaginary friends?  Get them all to swap their shit compilation tapes so they can compare notes on obscure tracks like f*****g train spotters and leave us all alone?  Actually get them to play a gig – a real gig – and watch them being stoned, not with dope but with half bricks, because they’re f*****g useless, with about as much DJ’ing skills as a one armed monkey with cerebral palsy! 
Well I’ve got a f*****g radical idea! We’ve just had the coldest winter on record for over 30 years with a thaw that has left the roads with an unprecedented amount of potholes, with a road repair bill of over £30 million pounds. 
So lets get all those f*****g shit ‘toy DJ’s’ and chain them together whilst they walk behind a mobile tarmac melting pot and f*****g great big road roller with a huge PA system strapped on board blasting out ‘Last Night A DJ Saved My Life’. Then, the chain-gang of useless c**ts, sorry DJ’s, can shuffle behind whilst passing their records along the line. Then a big, hairy, Road Navy can shovel their shitty heaps vinyl straight in the pot and bingo! Pour the f*****g lot into the various potholes and roll away. Hot melted vinyl finally put to some good use, sparing us all from the f*****g crap that pressed onto it and the tone-deaf tuneless twats that insists on playing it! 
We can all line the streets as they pass, waving our arms in the air giving the useless c**ts ‘a big shout out’ whilst screaming “tune!” happy in the knowledge we’ll never have to listen to their shit music ever again! 
We could send teams of shit bedroom DJ’s around the country repairing our broken roads and finally nail the true meaning of the initials DJ…the immortal clobber of any self respecting road worker the Donkey Jacket.
{module Related articles}
{module Facebook FanBox for articles} 


#10 Sex for Smart People 2017-11-17 18:48
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post's to be what
precisely I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write
content for yourself? I wouldn't mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write regarding here.
Again, awesome website!

Here is my homepage :: Sex
for Smart People: http://sfsppodcast.com
#9 Sex for Smart People 2017-11-16 17:05
I used to be suggested this blog by way of my cousin. I'm no longer sure whether this post is written by way of him
as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty.
You are amazing! Thanks!

Here is my blog: Sex for Smart People: http://sfsppodcast.com
#8 Sex for Smart People 2017-11-13 13:47
I've been surfing on-line greater than 3 hours these days, but I
by no means discovered any interesting article like yours.

It's pretty price sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers
made excellent content material as you probably did, the web will probably be much more useful than ever

Look at my page Sex for Smart People: http://sfsppodcast.com
#7 Sex for Smart People 2017-11-03 15:06
Wonderful items from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you're simply
too great. I really like what you have bought here,
certainly like what you are stating and the best way wherein you say
it. You make it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to keep it wise.
I can not wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous site.

Have a look at my web page; Sex for Smart People: http://sfsppodcast.com
#6 Sex for Smart People 2017-10-30 10:54
Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i
was just curious if you get a lot of spam responses?
If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you
can suggest? I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

My homepage ... Sex for Smart People: http://sfsppodcast.com
#5 Sex for Smart People 2017-10-28 20:37
Good day I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by
mistake, while I was researching on Google for something
else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and
a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t
have time to read through it all at the minute but
I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds,
so when I have time I will be back to read much more,
Please do keep up the superb b.

my web page - Sex for Smart People: http://Sfsppodcast.com/
#4 79Newton 2017-09-13 16:07
Hello admin, i must say you have hi quality posts here.

Your page can go viral. You need initial traffic boost only.

How to get it? Search for; make your content go viral Wrastain's tools
#3 86Valarie 2017-08-08 10:40
I see you don't monetize your blog, don't waste your traffic,
you can earn additional cash every month because you've got hi quality content.
If you want to know what is the best adsense alternative,
type in google: adsense alternative Mertiso's tips
#2 skyrim 2017-07-22 02:56
It's amazing to pay a quick visit this site and reading the views of all mates
concerning this article, while I am also keen of getting know-how.

skyrim: http://theelderscrolls5skyrimevolution225.ru
#1 broken 2017-03-10 09:09
Quality articles or reviews is the main to interest the people to visit the web
site, that's what this web page is providing.

Add comment

Security code

Upcoming Events

Real time web analytics, Heat map tracking

Login or Sign Up