A+ A A-

Ant the Rant - Couch Potato

From Ant the Rant -  bringing poetical satire to the satellite masses, misfits, pissed modernists and the i-groan generation.
Are you a Couch Potato? Are you becoming one? Or do you know one? Ant the Rant gets on the case with his poem 'Couch Potato'.
 
 He’s a couch potato, always mashed
On the sofa, always crashed
Covered in crisps and cigarette ash
Wondering where his life has flashed
Growing fatter, sinking fast
 
He’s a couch potato, lightly sauteed
On the settee, red and roasted
Sweaty pink and always toasted
A drunken whale, beached and bloated
A log, that in life’s sewer has floated
 
He’s a couch potato, steamed and fried
On his back and catching flies
From the takeaways rotting by his side
Smells like something there has died
Decomposed, then putrified
 
He’s a couch potato, soiled unwashed
In his underpants and socks
Stuck to the cushions and glued to the box
Counting friends that he has lost
Like he counts the fleas that he has squashed
 
He’s a couch potato on a bed of crunchy bits
With a face that sunk a million chips
Smearing grease on his vinegary prick
That’s the only way he gets his kicks
That’s where he’s taught the rats to lick
 
He’s a couch potato, not seen for weeks
Neighbours thought the drains had leaked
So they came round to take a peek
Thought that he was just asleep
Til they saw the insects filling his bloated cheeks
 
Couch potato, gone to a sofa in the sky
Buried just the way he died
A remote in his hand, a beer by his side
A fast food, slow death suicide
Life for him, was just one big, fat, lie.
 
 
Check his site: http://anttherant.com 
 
Buy his  first collection of poems here 
 
 
{module Facebook FanBox for articles} 

Comments   

#1 Jane 2009-10-30 22:23
FABBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love this guy and his poems!!

More News

Prev Next

Hits:12127

Two meetings, one voice

Two meeting…

You had to be there. North and south of the boro...

Read more

Hits:34305

New Site

New Site

We're back ;)   Read more: New Site...

Read more

Hits:12712

Corbyn Won Kensington Nomination

Corbyn Won …

On July 21st Jeremy Corbyn overwhelmingly won th...

Read more

Hits:13297

Hats-off to Micky P: Portobello Live 3rd/4th May

Hats-off to…

Reflecting on the Portobello Live Festival - by ...

Read more

Hits:16083

Portobello community stands up against plans to turn iconic area into bland shopping centre

Portobello

Hundreds of protestors, including children and p...

Read more

Hits:14173

Leon Löwentraut at the The Muse Gallery

Leon Löwent…

Never too early to become a full fledged artist ...

Read more

More News 2

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
Prev Next

Hits:15193

Greferendum: an anthology

Greferendum…

Thinking of Greece. ...

Read more

Hits:12712

Pink Cigar video release

Pink Cigar …

 Local down’n’dirty rock’n’roll outfit Pink Ciga...

Read more

Hits:16866

Gaz’s Rockin Blues 35th Anniversary Spectacular

Gaz’s Rocki…

Gaz’s Rockin Blues 35th Anniversary Spectacular ...

Read more

Hits:13830

Interactive Video Art at The Dissenters Gallery Catacombs

Interactive…

On Saturday 4 July, 11-5pm, a chance to see the ...

Read more

Hits:13111

"Exposed" a Solo Show by Louis-Nicholas Darbon

"Expos…

 Coming up Thursday- June 4th -  at the Graffik ...

Read more

Hits:13511

Mock The Opera Protest @ Holland Park

Mock The Op…

A protest is taking place tomorrow at the Hollan...

Read more

Hits:13978

Where next for Labour?

Where next …

 Labour’s defeat in the UK general election on M...

Read more

Hits:13310

Artists For Nepal – local benefit gig for Nepal

Artists For…

 Thursday May 21st at the Elgin with music, film...

Read more

Hits:13518

RED ALERT by Maximilian Wiedemann

RED ALERT b…

West Bank last exhibition at the current buildin...

Read more

Related Articles

Local Events Calendar

<<  <  March 2024  >  >>
 Mo  Tu  We  Th  Fr  Sa  Su 
    

Upcoming Events

Fb

writers pic2

We're looking for writers! Join in! (scroll down the article)

Rants

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7

I don't do …

I don't do rants. But,

...it's a rant! ...

Read more

Last Night …

Last Night I Dreamt...

"I could see the body of Kim Kardashian..." ...

Read more

Portobello …

Portobello drinkers 'harassed' by children

  From our sports correspondent Dave 'the ...

Read more

Everyone’s …

Everyone’s a F*****g DJ

by Kensal Scream  At long last! Another salvo f...

Read more

Lap dogs …

Lap dogs & devil dogs - the final solution

By Kensal Scream Time for another rant by the K...

Read more

Trains and …

Trains and  lycra pants

 By Kensal Scream That Really Grinds my Gears i...

Read more

An e-mail f…

An e-mail from Billy Connolly?

We can not be sure that  it’s his but it co...

Read more

Your Experience

review and preview

Login or Sign Up