A+ A A-

Trains and lycra pants

 By Kensal Scream
That Really Grinds my Gears is a weekly rant from the depths of the urban gut to the edges of this greedy and pleasant land. A vociferous out burst of everyday annoyances that drive (fairly reasonable) people to the verge of psychotic behaviour. This column will take no hostages – subjects addressed will be shot to pieces; survivors will be shot again. You've been warned!
 
In this episode, a train journey to work becomes the source of some annoyance.
Warning: Contains strong language.
 
How did you feel on your journey to work? - As usual I can never get a seat on my outward journey, and I just wanted to relax and read my free Metro newspaper
 
How did it compare to yesterday? - Pretty much the same as yesterday except yesterday was more crowded.
 
Were there any incidents of note en route? - No incidents.
 
What would have made your journey Easier? - What would make my journey (every day) easier are those extremely annoying people who are fully kitted out in cycling gear (complete with helmets and lycra pants) who then put their f*****g bike on the train! Where the f**k do they actually do any cycling? You know the smug bastards that say "Oh yes I cycle to work every day". No you f*****g don't! You cycle the 2 minutes to the station then put your f*****g bike where no c**t can get past, along with the nine other smug bastards bikes. Then you have the f*****g nerve to take a seat while your bike spends the entire journey falling over and being picked up by bruised random commuters then you shove your c**ting bike AT RUSH HOUR through the f*****g passengers towards the door, taking out children and old aged pensioners with your f*****g rat trap pedals, then you cycle the last two f*****g minutes to work! No doubt arriving at work amidst a cloud of fake huffing and puffing whining on about drivers not taking care and pedestrians stepping out, well I've got a random idea...you bought a bike why don't you F*****G CYCLE IT TO WORK YOU C**K SUCKING C**T!
 
Did you experience overcrowding today? - Yes and don't get me started on push chairs.
 
Where was it and how did it make you feel? - MAD!
 
What did you do as a result? - I killed all the children! 
 
{module Facebook FanBox for articles} 
 
 

Comments  

#2 Greendale 2011-06-07 12:22
1) The train is full anyway, and you're one of the people who are making it full. Travel at a different time.
2) The cyclist's outfit is irrelevant - what's it got to do with trains being overcrowded?
3) Cyclists have to suffer daily abuse from other road users (and train passengers, apparently), who present a very real threat to their safety. Cyclists on the other hand, threaten no-one and generate environmental benefits for all of society.
Joao, you should be encouraging people to cycle, not publishing this type of witless abuse!
#1 Susana Garcia 2010-03-27 17:54
LOVE IT! I can't imagine putting my bike on a train. I'm too lazy to negotiate carrying it up and down the endless flights of stairs! I guess sloath and cycling must go hand-in-hand?!

More News

Prev Next

Hits:4897

Portobello Radio Ep 42, with Chris Sullivan & Piers Thompson: The End Is Nigh Special.

Portobello

 Piping hot from the USB, the latest episode in ...

Read more

Hits:4174

Two meetings, one voice

Two meeting…

You had to be there. North and south of the boro...

Read more

Hits:27295

New Site

New Site

We're back ;)   Read more: New Site...

Read more

Hits:4372

Corbyn Won Kensington Nomination

Corbyn Won …

On July 21st Jeremy Corbyn overwhelmingly won th...

Read more

Hits:5326

Hats-off to Micky P: Portobello Live 3rd/4th May

Hats-off to…

Reflecting on the Portobello Live Festival - by ...

Read more

Hits:5887

Portobello community stands up against plans to turn iconic area into bland shopping centre

Portobello

Hundreds of protestors, including children and p...

Read more

More News 2

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
Prev Next

Hits:7903

Greferendum: an anthology

Greferendum…

Thinking of Greece. ...

Read more

Hits:4854

Pink Cigar video release

Pink Cigar …

 Local down’n’dirty rock’n’roll outfit Pink Ciga...

Read more

Hits:7726

Gaz’s Rockin Blues 35th Anniversary Spectacular

Gaz’s Rocki…

Gaz’s Rockin Blues 35th Anniversary Spectacular ...

Read more

Hits:5334

Interactive Video Art at The Dissenters Gallery Catacombs

Interactive…

On Saturday 4 July, 11-5pm, a chance to see the ...

Read more

Hits:4501

"Exposed" a Solo Show by Louis-Nicholas Darbon

"Expos…

 Coming up Thursday- June 4th -  at the Graffik ...

Read more

Hits:4725

Mock The Opera Protest @ Holland Park

Mock The Op…

A protest is taking place tomorrow at the Hollan...

Read more

Hits:6686

Where next for Labour?

Where next …

 Labour’s defeat in the UK general election on M...

Read more

Hits:4552

Artists For Nepal – local benefit gig for Nepal

Artists For…

 Thursday May 21st at the Elgin with music, film...

Read more

Hits:5065

RED ALERT by Maximilian Wiedemann

RED ALERT b…

West Bank last exhibition at the current buildin...

Read more

Related Articles

Local Events Calendar

<<  November 2018  >>
 Mo  Tu  We  Th  Fr  Sa  Su 
   
  

Upcoming Events

Social GK5

writers pic2

We're looking for writers! Join in! (scroll down the article)

Rants

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7

I don't do …

I don't do rants. But,

...it's a rant! ...

Read more

Last Night …

Last Night I Dreamt...

"I could see the body of Kim Kardashian..." ...

Read more

Portobello …

Portobello drinkers 'harassed' by children

  From our sports correspondent Dave 'the ...

Read more

Everyone’s …

Everyone’s a F*****g DJ

by Kensal Scream  At long last! Another salvo f...

Read more

Lap dogs …

Lap dogs & devil dogs - the final solution

By Kensal Scream Time for another rant by the K...

Read more

Trains and …

Trains and  lycra pants

 By Kensal Scream That Really Grinds my Gears i...

Read more

An e-mail f…

An e-mail from Billy Connolly?

We can not be sure that  it’s his but it co...

Read more

Reader's Choice

Hits:73666

The Colon Diaries by Steve Graham (all)

The Colon D…

  By Steve Graham Following several requests, ...

Read more

Your Experience

Popular

Error: No articles to display

Real time web analytics, Heat map tracking

Login or Sign Up