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Trains and lycra pants

 By Kensal Scream
That Really Grinds my Gears is a weekly rant from the depths of the urban gut to the edges of this greedy and pleasant land. A vociferous out burst of everyday annoyances that drive (fairly reasonable) people to the verge of psychotic behaviour. This column will take no hostages – subjects addressed will be shot to pieces; survivors will be shot again. You've been warned!
 
In this episode, a train journey to work becomes the source of some annoyance.
Warning: Contains strong language.
 
How did you feel on your journey to work? - As usual I can never get a seat on my outward journey, and I just wanted to relax and read my free Metro newspaper
 
How did it compare to yesterday? - Pretty much the same as yesterday except yesterday was more crowded.
 
Were there any incidents of note en route? - No incidents.
 
What would have made your journey Easier? - What would make my journey (every day) easier are those extremely annoying people who are fully kitted out in cycling gear (complete with helmets and lycra pants) who then put their f*****g bike on the train! Where the f**k do they actually do any cycling? You know the smug bastards that say "Oh yes I cycle to work every day". No you f*****g don't! You cycle the 2 minutes to the station then put your f*****g bike where no c**t can get past, along with the nine other smug bastards bikes. Then you have the f*****g nerve to take a seat while your bike spends the entire journey falling over and being picked up by bruised random commuters then you shove your c**ting bike AT RUSH HOUR through the f*****g passengers towards the door, taking out children and old aged pensioners with your f*****g rat trap pedals, then you cycle the last two f*****g minutes to work! No doubt arriving at work amidst a cloud of fake huffing and puffing whining on about drivers not taking care and pedestrians stepping out, well I've got a random idea...you bought a bike why don't you F*****G CYCLE IT TO WORK YOU C**K SUCKING C**T!
 
Did you experience overcrowding today? - Yes and don't get me started on push chairs.
 
Where was it and how did it make you feel? - MAD!
 
What did you do as a result? - I killed all the children! 
 
{module Facebook FanBox for articles} 
 
 

Comments   

#2 Greendale 2011-06-07 12:22
1) The train is full anyway, and you're one of the people who are making it full. Travel at a different time.
2) The cyclist's outfit is irrelevant - what's it got to do with trains being overcrowded?
3) Cyclists have to suffer daily abuse from other road users (and train passengers, apparently), who present a very real threat to their safety. Cyclists on the other hand, threaten no-one and generate environmental benefits for all of society.
Joao, you should be encouraging people to cycle, not publishing this type of witless abuse!
#1 Susana Garcia 2010-03-27 17:54
LOVE IT! I can't imagine putting my bike on a train. I'm too lazy to negotiate carrying it up and down the endless flights of stairs! I guess sloath and cycling must go hand-in-hand?!

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