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On Scotland...

If Scotland gains its independence as a result of the forthcoming referendum, the remainder of the UK will be known as the "Former United Kingdom" (FUK).  

 In a bid to discourage the Scots from voting "yes" the English government has begun a campaign with the slogan "Vote NO for FUK's sake."  

They feel that Scottish voters will warm to this.

On a more serious note however, a public letter emerged saying: 

“Dear Scotland, if you decide to abandon Westminster to the corrupt cabal of public school sociopaths who run it for their own enrichment at the expense of everyone else in the country … can we go with you? 

Yours, 

England”

 

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